Engagement in Ghana #part1

Ghana was an absolute madness...but it peaked with my engagement. For the past 5 years I wanted nothing more than to have my traditional wedding or as we westerners call it…"engagement" in Ghana. I just feel that if you’re gonna do something, do it properly…and if people are gonna hate anyway give them something to talk about.

The Ghanaian marriage ceremony is a traditional ceremony where the groom accompanied by his family formally asks for the bride's hand in marriage in the presence of family, friends and well wishers (wedding crashers). The traditional ceremony is a necessary common rite of marriage for all Ghanaian couples. In Ghana today, some couples perform this alone as a marriage ceremony, however, most couples also go on to perform the western wedding in a church in addition to the traditional marriage ceremony.

We did the knocking in Slough before we went to Ghana so we could make sure our family in the UK were also a part of the traditional wedding.  The knocking ("kookoo ko") is derived from the Ghanaian tradition of knocking on at the entrance of a house before entering as a visitor. For the knocking ceremony the groom's family brings Schnapps and some money to the house to present to the brides family. The spokesperson will then explain in the mother language (Twi), that the groom, has seen a "beautiful flower" in the house of the brides family that he desires and would like to "uproot" that flower, not steal, from its keeper, hence they are here to ask for the brides hand in marriage and inquire about what is required in order to make that flower his own. 

Once the intentions are announced, the brides family may ask the groom and his family to come back at a set later date during which the brides family will investigate the grooms family background further to see:

a) if the family has no chronic illness or genetic disabilities in the family

b) if family has a good reputation, that is no immediate family member such as a sibling, an aunt or uncle is known to be a thief, prostitute or murderer

c) if the groom has no illegitimate children or has another marriage elsewhere etc.

d) if the groom is of good character and well matched to the bride

If they are satisfied and pleased with what they find out, they will send a list of things to the groom and his family to provide before they can marry the bride. This list is commonly made up of, but not limited to the following :

 

a) dowry /or bride price- often an undisclosed sum of money, 2  bottled drink of whisky or Gin

b) Money for the brides father, 1 bottle of expensive whisky & a piece of cloth

c) Money for the bride of the mother

d) Jewelry for the bride

e) At least 6 pieces of traditional wax print cloth and kente for the bride

f) Engagement ring

g) Engagement bible

h) Shoes, headpieces, other gifts for the bride

i) Money for the brothers or male cousins (if bride has no brothers)

 

On the day I am happy to report, Prince exceeded all my expectations and brought what was on the list and more…he didn’t want to get me a sewing machine or a cow as he thought it was unnecessary for a girl with a degree.

 

The day itself was so manic!!! Jessica and I woke up at 6am to get our eyebrows and eyelashes done…after this we had to go to the village to pick up my dress. In the village, we had to find the little green hut, with the little black man who was working on my dress. He is by far the best tailor I have ever had…except from the awkward moment when he was taking my measurements. I like him because he saw and understood my vision. I digress. Me and Jess picked up the dress and made our way to my grandma’s house where the engagement was going to be held with our driver Nii.

 

I don’t know how to describe what happened next without getting emotional all over again but I will try my best. We get to the gate and 50 of Prince’s family members are outside. It was only 10am and we had agreed it would start at 2!!!! So, I haven’t had a bath, no make-up, n my nightie and I see Prince’s mum approaching our car. What do I do? Start screaming at Jessica: Fix it. I then turned my head around, “Hi Mummy..how you doing?” LOL It was an awkward situation because none of my family was there yet, the garden was still being set up, it was over 33 degrees outside and they have just been on a 4 hour trip in a coach from Kumasi to Accra...To top everything off…as the custom is, they come in when the brides family is seated, they had no choice but to wait outside till 2 and Prince was not picking up his phone…TBC